I sent the following email to my neighborhood email loop... to thank the person who left two very strange gifts on my lawn:
To My Mysterious Benefactor,
As best as I can tell, you must have been walking by my house last week when I stepped in a pile of dog poo as I was dragging out the recycle bin. I let out a statement that started with "I wish..." and ended with a string of unkind thoughts and expletives.
Clearly my situation moved you because on Monday morning I found a doggie-poop-picking-up-tool and an Aladdin-style genie lamp on my front lawn.
The lamp, I am sad to say, is not working. We have all taken turns rubbing it and polishing it -- to no avail. So if you have further instructions in the proper use of a genie lamp, feel free to pass them along. In the meantime the scooper is a great help.